And so to help alleviate the heat, the Couchsurfing Cook was inspired to write a song.
It’s sung to the tune of Mel Torme and Bob Wells’ heartwarming 1946 classic, “The Christmas Song” and is sure to put a smile on your otherwise red-cheeked (from the humidity) face.
Now I can’t promise that this song will prevent sweat from dripping down your brow and into your mouth as you stand broiling on a rush-hour subway platform, but perhaps humming it while lying in bed at 3 a.m. with a window fan blowing furiously at your naked body while you curse the used air conditioner you bought last summer on Craigslist (because a couchsurfer broke your new one) that’s so weak you wonder if it’s even worth the electric bill**, will make you feel at least a few degrees cooler.
**This is happening to the CS Cook right now!
With apologies to Mel Torme, the CS Cook presents “The Christmas in July Song”:
Piglets roasting on an open fire.
Sausage stinking up your clothes.
Ice cream cones, being sold from a truck.
That song will stop, with any luck.
Everybody knows cannoli and some funnel cake,
help to make your clothes fit tight.
Hyper kids, with their mouths stuffed with sweets,
will find it hard to sleep tonight.
They know more food is on its way.
Like cotton candy spun around as if hairsprayed.
And every parent there is gonna cry,
when they learn corn costs five bucks to buy.
And so I’m offering this lemonade.
To locals and to tourists too.
Although you’ve been warned many times, many ways,
New York’s summer’ll make you brew.
Stay cool everyone!
And for the strangest version of “The Christmas Song” you’re likely to see, click here.